So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
