This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
