Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
