We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
