Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
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