I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
