is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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