from now on my penis is your penis
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
