I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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