I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
