God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
