Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
