I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
