sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
pray to the hookup gods
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
