That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
