I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
