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• (972): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?

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• (310): View more from California

  I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.

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• (243): View more from

  We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will have no part of this.

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• (408): View more from California

  Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?

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• (275): View more from

  And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.

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