I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
