I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
