He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
