I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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