she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
