I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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