maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He better not be in your backpack
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
