I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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