Kiss
Puke
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
