I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
where are my eyebrows?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
