i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
