i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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