All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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