At least make sure they are 18
Why
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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