When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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