if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
