I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
