Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
