you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
