he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
