just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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