I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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