...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
