you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
