very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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