the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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