Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
