well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
