so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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