did you get engaged???
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
