I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
