Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
