I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
