Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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